September 2007 Tour Thing

We are playing twelve shows in as many days between Boston and Atlanta this September. Here, we will record some of the highlights, in as real a time as possible.

• 

  Cousin Larry's Cafe in Danbury, CT w/ Tractor Flip and Chris Kiley

  a) A substantial gun-based arcade game called Big Buck Hunter Pro, many rounds from which Joel emerged the undisputed talent.

  b) Some kind of crazy machine that spits out pre-cooled, pre-measured shots of Jagermeister and then some kind of crazy bartender/doorguy who thinks that would go well with a half-can of Red Bull.

  c) A laudable effort to school David in the subtleties of zing, slam, and 'dis (more on this later) while enjoying some fine Mediterranean cuisine.

  d) The hit-machines that are Tractor Flip and Chris Kiley.

  e) Taking a cat-nap on the Merritt Parkway. Thank you, fellow motorists of New York and Connecticut, for leaving us and our van and our naps and our maps unmolested.
• 

  Death By Audio in Brooklyn, NY w/ Pissed Jeans, Cola Freaks, and Eddy Current Suppression Ring

  a) Afternoon napping! One set of which included a subconscious viewing of Stand By Me.

  b) More stabs at the accuracy of terms zing, slam, and 'dis. Also entering the fray: face and burn.

  c) Coming to terms w/ the fact that the Chapel Hill show is really not happening, casting about fruitlessly for an alternative, then tentative plans for camping + flashlight tag?
• 

  Silent Barn in Queens, NY w/ Pterodactyl, Numbers, Bears, Team Robespierre, and Brown Recluse Sings

  a) "Did you know that you can't fold a piece of paper more than 50,000 times or it makes a spark?"

  b) Todd P's generosity and insanity for letting us hop on this insanely amazing bill.

  c) Coming to terms w/ the fact that there will be no camping or flashlight tag tonight.

  d) Add to zing, slam, 'dis, face, and burn the term raz and the questionable entry by David (Altman, bass guitar) of "house".

  e) Newman's Own Sweet Dark Espresso Chocolate Bar.

  f) No longer is pink the new brown, because "Baseball is the Murphy Brown."

  g) Parts & Labor returning from their companion mini-tour and totally failing to rage us.
• 

  The Bridge Progressive Art Initiative in Charlottesville, VA w/ Truman Sparks and Puppetry

  a) Listening to newly acquired records on the long drive: Shooting Spires, Numbers, and Illinois.

  b) Puppets!

  c) Playing whist very very hungry; sometimes your brain just hits 'reset' in the middle of a song, you know?

  d) Jordyn (Bonds, vocals and tambourine), in an amazing display of mental organization, losing her house keys, then her phone, then her towel.

  e) The thorough hospitality of John from Truman Sparks and resulting quality sleeps.
• 

  Drunken Unicorn in Atlanta, GA w/ Circle and Endless Boogie

  a) Car tunes: Pinback, Caribou, and A Series of Unfortunate Events: Book the Eleventh: The Grim Grotto.

  b) FIRST WAFFLE HOUSE MEAL OF TOUR (possibly several days overdue, depending on whom you ask) [This also ended up being the LAST Waffle House meal of tour, which is a damn shame, depending on whom you ask. - Ed.]

  c) Joanne (Dill, keyboards) driving the van for the first time ever.

  d) OMG CIRCLE.

  e) More -- nay, never enough -- Newman's Own Special Dark Espresso Chocolate.

  f) Chad, DU's lovely sound engineer, playing Mastadon's "Blood and Thunder" followed directly by Amerie's "One Thing" and thus summoning Valhalla for us all.

  g) Dancing to Diplo at a Bjork afterparty.

  h) More Valhalla by way of America's Best Motor Lodge.
• 

  The Caledonia Lounge in Athens, GA w/ The Mclusky Tribute Band and Snake Laser

  a) Car tunes: REM

  b) Add to zing, slam, 'dis, face, burn, raz, and possibly house the term "served" as in "you got [served]".

  c) David gets a call from his doctor saying he has torn a ligament in his wrist and shouldn't use it at all for one month...

  d) Sittin' in the UGA quad watchin' Athens goin' wild, ta-dow.

  e) Jonathan attempting to decide how one best writes a cover letter in this Internet Age.

  f) "Stop killing the funny." "I was jumping rope with regard to my friends." "I think Jonathan just defribulated the funny."

  g) Finding out that, until all-too-recently, there was no one on this show but us and then finding out that the amazing people of Athens had rallied to our cause and crystallized Snake Laser and resurrected the Mclusky Tribute Band just for the occasion and then the resulting warm cockles we all had over the whole thing.

  h) Honorable Mention: Fussball.

  i) Bluebird! w/ Erica and the guy in the Bjork tshirt.
• 

  Sociology in Greenville, NC w/ Ryan Navarro

  a) Car tunes: A Series of Unfortunate Events: Book the Twelfth: The Penultimate Peril.

  b) A bleak and deserted South of the Border.

  c) Singing Boyz II Men w/ Albert Meyer!

  d) Many a gratuitous convo courtesy Billy, Alice, Jake, Jeff, and Jeremy. But mostly Billy.
• 

  The Red and the Black in Washington, DC w/ Habeas Corpses, Mouthbreather, and Darling

  a) Breakfast at Sheetz is a wild ride.

  b) Meeting Joel's brand-new neice, Madelaine Libby.

  c) Driving around DC and wanting to not be driving around DC because it's confusing and weird to do.

  d) First Yuengling of tour, accompanied by some fine Cajun cuisine.
• 

  Smog @ Bard College in Annandale-on-Hudson, NY w/ Dragons of Zynth and Used To Be Women

  a) Avoid Esther's, off I-78 in Pennsylvania, if you can.

  b) On our way back to I-78 from Esther's, Joel trying to obtain a tour of the Crayola Distribution Center there and being summarily rebuffed.

  c) Car tunes: Mitch Hedberg.

  d) Finding out that nearly every parent ever went to SUNY Buffalo.
• 

  Ground Zero @ RPI in Troy, NY w/ Little Leopards

  a) Waking up at Alana's and watching her collection of Kate Bush videos.

  b) RPI's totally amazing game room at the student union. We played some pool and fussball, but then got down to a serious table tennis tournament. Joel (Roston, guitar) emerged undefeated.

  c) Drinking free tea and coffee at Ground Zero and padding around on their rubber floor.

  d) Eating pizza later, past inhabitants of West Hartford edge out non-WH folks four to three.
• 

  AS220 in Providence, RI w/ Sweet Thieves, Sick Electric, and the Science Logic

  a) The thing about audio books is that one can't really adjust the speed at which one consumes the text. With standard books, you can read faster or, like, skim if you know you've gotta move on; but not so audio books. Similarly, Cracker Barrels only exist where they exist. You can't summon one to, say, Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts even though that might be more convenient for you because you need to return rented Lemony Snicket CDs.

  b) Fidel Castro & the Revolutions

  c) "Does this oversized beer bottle make me look like a little kid?"